Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just had sex on a roof
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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