Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize