I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
