Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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