My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
