Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
