I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I need a burrito and a hug.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Randomize
