so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
