i just had sex bonerless
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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