I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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