Please, let me fuck your mom
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Let's get the cat blown out
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize