I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
