she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So squirting runs in the family.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
