Porn is love you can see.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
