...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
