Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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