well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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