More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
