she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
