i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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