I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize