It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
