when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
