I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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