i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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