But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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