Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dick very happy bro
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
