I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Every concussion has its silver lining
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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