they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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