it wasn't lemon gatorade
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Randomize
