I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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