any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
