Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize