They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
