just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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