My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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