if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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