would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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