Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
