smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
