its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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