Where is the hickey?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
