She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
