I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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