Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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