i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
