someone get that fucking seahorse.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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