if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
