I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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