just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
