I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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