There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
