like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Couch. On fire.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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