I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
