Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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