Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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