i think i have herpe
just one?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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